See, here's the problem. I was not a beautiful baby. I wasn't even what you might call "cute". I was homely, pure and simple. And pale. And chubby. And I had a pig nose. And did I mention "homely"?
Thank goodness my dear mother saw something redeemable in me and didn't throw me back!!! ;o)
Well... you're here for the pictures, I assume. OK.
But don't say you weren't warned!
EXHIBIT "A":
Does that poor child even have a SPINE??? In my family, this picture is lovingly referred to as "Lynn, the bean-bag baby". Oh yeah.
EXHIBIT "B":
Yeah, just prop the kid up in the corner... she obviously ain't goin' anywhere!
(Geez, I sure hope someone else was home, though!!!)
At least I look happy. Maybe someone was dangling a pork chop?!
Still need more convincing?
EXHIBIT "C":
(Um, by the way -- nice try Mom, but the little spit curl didn't really help any. Just sayin'.)
EXHIBIT "D":
Well, I finally grew some legs and apparently a back bone, too. THANK GOODNESS.
But, um, what's with the DIAPER??? Looks like something exploded in there!
I think the kid is waaaaay past due for a change there, Mom!
EXHIBIT "E":
And ya' gotta love this one. Nice overalls. I look like Mr. Goodwrench.
But what's with that facial expression? Maybe I got a look at myself in the mirror???!
So there you have it. The sad truth: not everyone was a Gerber baby! Some of us were just... um...NOT!
But years later, you know how I knew that my then-boyfriend was a keeper? He saw my baby pictures and actually said, "Look how cute you were!" And it even sounded like he meant it. Yeah, I MARRIED him!!!
